Children experience grief long before they have the words to explain it. While we often associate grief with death, kids can grieve any loss—big or small—because grief is really the experience of something changing that they didn’t choose.
This newsletter offers gentle education and practical support for guardians, caregivers, and anyone who loves a child navigating big emotions and confusing changes.
WHAT CHILDREN GRIEVE (OFTEN MORE THAN WE REALIZE)
Children grieve when something they value, love, or depend on changes or disappears. Common sources of child grief include:
• Death of a loved one
• Death of a pet
• Moving to a new home or school
• Loss of a favorite toy or comfort item
• Changes in routine or caregivers
• A friend moving away
• Parental separation or divorce
• Disappointment when expectations aren’t met
• Loss of safety, predictability, or trust
Children don’t grieve based on the size of the loss—they grieve based on attachment. If it mattered to them, it matters.
HOW GRIEF SHOWS UP IN CHILDREN
Kids often express grief through behavior rather than words. Some signs may include:
• Big emotions
• Regression
• Trouble sleeping
• Withdrawal
• “Overreacting” to small things
• Increased worry or fear
• Acting out due to overwhelm
Behavior is communication. Children show us how they feel before they can tell us.
HOW GUARDIANS CAN SUPPORT CHILDREN THROUGH LOSS
VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS
“It makes sense that you feel sad.”
“I’m here with you.”
CREATE SPACE FOR QUESTIONS
Children need simple, honest answers.
OFFER ROUTINE & PREDICTABILITY
Consistency helps them feel safe.
USE CREATIVE EXPRESSION
Art, drawing, music, journaling, and play create healthy outlets.
MODEL CALM
Children learn emotional regulation through us.
TEACH HEALTHY COPING
Breathing exercises, sensory tools, movement, and naming emotions all help.
PET LOSS AND “SMALL GRIEFS” MATTER TOO
Kids grieve deeply when pets die, when a special stuffed animal is lost, or when a beloved teacher moves away.
Small losses often feel big to small hearts.
CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR DIFFERENT AGES
Ages 3–7
• “Show me in a picture how you feel.”
• “Where in your body do you feel that?”
Ages 8–12
• “What part feels hardest right now?”
• “Do you want a hug, help, or space?”
Teens
• “I care about what you’re feeling. I’m here to listen.”
A CHILD’S CALMING TOOLBOX IDEA LIST
• Soft blanket
• Notes of encouragement
• Drawing supplies
• Music
• Stress ball
• Breathing card
• Photos of happy memories
• Stuffed animal
• “Things that help me when I feel big feelings” card
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A GRIEVING CHILD
Avoid:
• “You’re okay.”
• “Stop crying.”
• “It wasn’t a big deal.”
• “Be strong.”
Try instead:
• “I’m here.”
• “Tell me what hurt.”
• “You’re allowed to feel this way.”
HEALING COMES THROUGH CONNECTION
Children don’t need perfect guardians—they need present ones. When we stay steady, compassionate, and available, children learn that all feelings can be safely felt and released.
Grief in children is rarely about what they’ve lost, but about whether someone sits beside them while they feel it.
Explore my Children’s Grief Activity Book on Etsy
A gentle, creative companion for little hearts navigating loss
With hope and encouragement,
Dawn
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